The Straight Pipes Video Transcript

Foreign We’re going for a drive 2024 BMW x5m competition with launch control Oh God you feel it jumping between gears I wasn’t ready for that yeah yeah I’ll talk about that real soon horsepower 617 horsepower 553 pound-feet of torque from a 4.4 liter twin turbo V8 mild hybrid how much more is that than last year exactly the same numbers but this is an

All-new engine so this is the s-68 not the S63 does anything else have that same engine in it uh yeah a couple cars and stuff that BMW is putting that in nice yeah XM and whatnot wow so this is an XM but now what I want to show you is

The different launch control mode if we smooth out the transmission because those shifts were very harsh so now we’re going to dial it down same launch you’re allowed to do that oh yeah dude way smoother way less abrupt here watch go back to the fast we’re gonna do a third launch

If it lets us okay this is a fast one just watch the the front end just change Oh yeah see yeah I think it’s like doing an ollie every single yeah like it jumps what didn’t BMWs used to always make you go to full train yes yeah so they’ve changed some things but I knew that I had to go to MDM and I knew that I had

To go to like the manual mode and it still automatically upshifted but man this thing launches so hard fun fun little thing you did there BMW engineer yes so they did change some things and we will get into that but obviously let’s start with the looks because the

Thing looks fantastic with this lovely Isle of Man green paint it’s exactly the same as that other one we drove yes and it still looks fantastic I’m a little bit more M yeah well because that was the X6 and now we have the X5 which is obviously my preference because the

Looks and the extra function of the tailgate in the back what I like is the exhaust tips yeah the exhaust tips are mean AF and what should we do with exhaust tips listen to what the sound makes from the outside oh yeah it still sounds really good uh nice

And smooth let’s hear that pumped in this okay downshift downshift that was me bogging down that shift but it sounds really good in here and then we do have this exhaust button which is also tied to the inside oh that’s way better yeah so you can turn that off but

Then you kind of lose them yeah yeah you know what it’s you know what they’re not going to change it but you know they did change the Sun article that they uh said all right we’re not gonna tie heated seats the subscription you know we’ve been

Making jokes for a while about that we kind of get some Flack for it constantly and it got changed so you know what you’re welcome viewers we’re doing this for you so if you appreciate that subscribe to our Channel and make your parents grandparents uncles everyone subscribe to us too that’s right and

I’ll give you another reason to subscribe cliche Corner watch what this thing can do dude how crazy is that dude it lets the back end they’ve never done that on an SUV before it’s crazy like it lets you and I’m in ambient sport like they changed something yeah it’s crazy now it is

Actually unreal how this handles I don’t love everything about it but the steering is all glitching and all that stuff and I don’t know what the music but anyways dude did you not I will see that coming if remember that time I almost flicked flipped an x6m on the

Track yeah I would have definitely flipped on the track yeah that is that is cool that makes me feel like more Italian of this like the Italian SUVs that have been good this whole time and that like predictability and kind of fear is now there which is perfect like

I want that that’s cool which is insane in an SUV but it’s still like you can that was MDM like you can actually still turn that off that’s sketchy for normal people I love that thank you BMW great job with the Dynamics with this M sport differential with this all-wheel drive

System amazing and now we have this 48 volt mild hybrid system which also we have like 80 roller bars and all that kind of stuff that you get on very premium cars that kind of have the whole stabilization and stuff for handling so this handles really really well and it

Does have adaptive suspension not air suspension and it actually rides very well I’m in the stiffest mode right now on imperfect surfaces it is definitely noticeable it’s on the stiffer side but then I’ve programmed my M1 and M2 buttons on the steering wheel to be a little bit softer in M1 but everything

Else they’ll be rock hard what does that have to do with the looks uh nothing I’m still talking about the dinosaurs I’ve given people a reason to subscribe that start with the looks all right so what we got crazy suspension okay do you like the looks of this I’m still going to

Talk about the suspension because I’m going through because corner and dude it is unreal I really like the previous one and I feel like they changed just enough about the suspension and the handling and everything that there is a actual reason to buy this model over the last

One although the looks I well I’m not done with the Dynamics I hate the steering of this the steering is not it’s got that like it’s super over boosted yeah it’s like Lucy Goose even on like you can change the modes and like it just reminds me of how they

Screwed up the m240i and everything and I really don’t like it because of that yeah okay so let’s shake hands we’re going to talk about the looks now okay looks I really like the previous one more but I’m totally accustomed to this one now but I wish we still had the nice

BMW kind of circle-ish headlights I’m fine with the Chevron headlights I’m fine with the uh the cool Body Lines the paint like it all it all works I like how the front is like got that black thing right at the like the front end it’s a very mean looking front tail

Lights are sick I don’t love them as much as the previous ones but again I don’t really have an issue with the overall look so this is still mean AF with everything blacked out I don’t even think you can get a regular x5m anymore only a competition and at least the

Headlights don’t look like the x7s yes you could have put X7 headlights on here exactly so like of all the refreshes this is a good one yeah okay let’s get you in here now turns out the car’s so aggressive it shook the SD card out of our audio recording device yeah sorry

About that launch control full launch that’s way crazier when you’re driving it yeah [Applause] alone like the front end is literally trying to jump on every shift that’s really cool but I had the exhaust off that was kind of quiet it’s kind of nice it was yeah probably lame from outside probably but uh yeah yeah this car is fast yeah

You know you forgot about on the looks a lot no not a lot just the wheels oh the wheels are so sick though except they’re they’re black yes and everyone who likes black wheels you’re all right yeah bronze would have been nice or something bronze yeah yeah especially with this

Green beautiful yeah yeah I hate black wheels okay what would be the Continental recommended tire for a BMW x5m I actually want everybody to go to continentaltire.com straight pipes to check your recommended tire because yes it is winter tire shopping season as much as it doesn’t look like it because

We’re in shorts but we are going to get there very soon so please get some winter tires for your car get them lined up and get your appointment lined up ahead of time yes all right all right so this feels yeah the steering feels kind

Of weird I don’t know if like the last one felt as weird I don’t remember it enough to complain about it but this one’s definitely Twitchy the brake pedal is a little bit like not as system as I’d like yeah and you can change it through the infotainment so it’s one of

Those types of brake pedals and uh go for it I don’t I don’t even want to actually I’m just going to take it easy yeah but it definitely feels like it’s got a lot more like kick if you want to it feels like it’s coming from the back

Too right it’s definitely rear bias and the shift lights are nice there’s a lot of nice stuff about this but then there’s also a lot of stuff that I’ve already said before isn’t my favorite with the new style infotainment yes but what is nice is we have carbon fiber

Shift paddles for the ZF 8 speed transmission and it does shift lovely and you can adjust the shifts on the shifter yeah and uh it’s got a lot of safety stuff too which I actually had to turn a lot off because I felt like the lane keep assist was like like moving me

Like way too much and then like speed warnings not that I was speeding or anything you have to like turn that off and then you have to turn off a second menu okay let me get into one of my primary complaints about how weird all this new BMW stuff is getting now the

Lane keep assist the lane centering is very good on the highway what is annoying is being able to adjust just the Gap to the car ahead of you now if you look at your left uh where you’d have your thumb that’s where you adjust all of your adaptive cruise control

Settings right now you see two blank sections on the left and right in the glass black now those are not blank on the right side of your steering wheel is that why that way used to be in the previous models so now count how many button clicks it takes to change that

It’s my favorite game let’s just say you’re in music or your climate controls you go home one uh this whatever button too then you go to vehicle three then you go to driving settings for driver assistance five driving six distance control seven and preferred distance close medium eight or

Far all right that’s how many button clicks it takes let’s try hey BMW driving assistance say a menu option for example okay whatever yeah it’s on you can’t do it yeah anyways uh so that’s my chief complaint about that actual system because other than that it works very

Well what if you swipe down on your thing and you got draft settings boom still boom boom boom exactly while you’re driving while I’m trying to take my eyes off the road yeah and I get it like it’s probably not going to be a thing that you change a lot but I

Actually do like to change that based on traffic so I actually change that frequently but they do have this optional for situational distance control which is automatically done which I don’t like at least you can’t subscribe to heated seats anymore that’s right you’re welcome world this will hopefully be the next thing

That they change by just adding those buttons back on the gloss black section you know you should spend your money on with the money you saved from not having to subscribe to heated seats what’s that a set of tux mat go to tuxmat.com the straight pipes to get a set of tux mat

For your car whatever that may be including this BMW x5m and Shadow tuxmat for being a long-term sponsor of ours I love of gold these are six shirts yeah they are and although I was complaining about that and not many other things I actually think that this is BMW’s best SUV for

Sale like right now yes right now not like in the no no right now I’m going with right now the model lineup because the XM exists and it’s above this and yes it does have more power I think it’s uglier but whatever’s subjective but horsepower wise and 0 to 60 wise this is

Basically the same and it costs way more it’s way more comfortable yeah this is way more comfortable like as a fashion car the XM is way cooler sure but I don’t think they’re selling very well because I’ve seen one on the road that’s it I’ve seen zero exactly oh let me just

Start my backup assistant instead of recording A New Path and I’ll just back up on my own look at that it’s not going to hit anything oh that’s impressive you’re gonna if you’re bad at parking I was just if you’re lazy yeah I’m lazy okay I’m not even gonna curb a single

Wheel damn bro and you know what even if I did curve it I wouldn’t care because they’re black and that would make them white yeah they would look even worse foreign mode yeah that sets the exhaust up because I’ve got my M1 and M2 already

Set up I’m an old man yeah I want to drive slow and then if you want to change your gauge cluster you can go through your setup or your M mode and all that kind of stuff just like every other new BMW so you can go to Sport and

Get some crazy gauges and then track turns off your main infotainment my uh friend’s mom she’s a real estate agent always had like the top trim car she would always least the best thing she used to have a C63 Coupes all the time yep now she has an x5m I asked her which

One like what’s the infotainment climate look like she’s like I don’t know yeah that’s fair that’s the kind of people that buy this car sometimes yeah I mean this is a fantastic car we can also change our uh whatever this is the the lights are cool the lights are really

Cool because it’s lit up green right now to match the green exterior and then we’ve got a bunch of packages on this one so we have soft closed doors we’ve got peasant blockers in the back and I fit back there comfortably we’ve got these nice weird kind of gray brown

Seeds I like that color that color is cool you know what this color is what this is the cement paint of exterior cars that’s going to be on the inside of every car soon oh I don’t know about that I don’t think this is cool enough that’s what they said about the exterior

Colors did they though I think people were stoked on it first okay also trunk room is wild back there I love it and I love that it’s a split fold yeah exactly that’s my favorite part about that back and then you also have the uh the cover

Which is fully motorized which is so impressive but I’m just terrified of the day that would possibly break in the future for someone yeah and as somebody who owns a used German car that needed a ton of money and repairs because everything breaks and you know I don’t

Think these cars are actually going to make it that long to be fair I don’t own any BMWs and that was a Mercedes okay yeah you have a same same thing I’ve been watching speed Academy going through a lot of things with BMW shut up

Pete but yeah okay so you know how I bought that old computer yes and it’s like oh cool but I had to have like an old computer guy put it together for me yeah is there gonna be a guy who’s like a tech expert now who stays current with

This technology in 20 years to be like oh I know how to use old BMW things I can change out screens and stuff 100 that’s how it works with all these cars a lot of people don’t know how to work on my Mercedes SL which to me is crazy

Because it’s like that car’s not that old that’s like a 90s car that’s not that old and even techs at Mercedes some of them don’t know because they’re like oh it was actually trained on all the EQ products and they’re like what the hell is this yeah so like it’s gonna be a

Very specific Millennial who’s like 60 years old who can fix your 20 year old x5m yes in the year 20 years right now in the year 2043 I think that 100 yes uh but the rest of this car is fantastic we got heated and cooled cup holders they totally pass and

What about these uh lovely suede covered black visors always three two one yes good job BMW carbon fiber up here which I believe is standard and I think you can get like wood and stuff if you pay extra now we got massage seats up here

Which the massage is okay but we do have them do you like the HUD uh I don’t even look at it not once yeah your icy right through it yeah this one’s like pretty I think BMW ones are pretty big but I think they’ve done a good job of like

Reducing it and making look good for like sport modes and shifting exactly and like always really good sound system apple carplay is only Wireless and Android auto and have you had any issues with Wireless Apple carplay okay so I didn’t have any issues on day one but

This is not day one anymore and since then I have not been able to connect to Apple carplay so after the filming of this video if I still can’t connect to carplay I I’m sorry I can’t show you carplay on the screen quickly start the timer I’m gonna connect with my phone

That hasn’t touched this car yet okay yours might work oh hello there as the boys attempt to wirelessly connect to the car I assure you that none of their connection attempts were successful let’s just say if this particular unit shows up on tsp.truecar.com they’ll buy this one yes it won’t it’s a Canadian

Model so buy a different one yes but I still really like this SUV regardless of this and I’m sure this is just kind of a software update away you know what though I’m also living with a problem like that with my infotainment my Mazda I had my apple carplay with disconnect

It would stop working the wireless would screw up uh turns out the culprit was the SD card for navigation once you pop that out it seems to not have a problem let’s find the SD card uh would you be more upset if you bought your Mazda but your Mazda now costs like

A hundred and thirty thousand dollars more than I am I am furious that my 37 000 Mazda I think is what I paid for it has issues with the infotainment at all yeah as you should be we’ll stop dwelling on that because it’s probably just a unit problem say it’s a fantastic

Car again uh it’s a fantastic car Yuri floor it please Exhaust on you got it off I know because I’m an old man and I want it to be quiet there we go nice and Loud until they let me have loud exhaust and no pumpkin audio I refuse to push the button I mean that is definitely a fair point okay

Let’s get to the prize this one starts at 142 000 Canadian which by the way the previous one that we drove was specked out to 143 350. this one is 158 150 dollars so it’s not that much more than the previous one but it’s definitely more

Than the previous one that we drove in 2020. yeah cars are getting more expensive people with money have too much money yes and honestly other than the car play problem and the uh having to choose my distance following stuff and and a little bit of weird steering

Yeah this is great I would go Italian SUV yeah I mean like a Maserati uh whatever that is my friend’s mom who has the ax5m competition she says when her lease is coming up she’s like oh I was thinking of Maserati but they’re super expensive I’m like no not compared to an

X5m yeah I’m gonna take her Maserati shopping because she always wanted one and I personally would rather have a Maserati myself yeah Maseratis are sick those new ones especially like you get the trophails or the super trophail whatever it’s called the top trim and it was like classic simple infotainment yes

Which really got me going and although this has some you know broken kind of things I’m sure some things break on Maseratis as well oh no they for sure but I told her that too it will break but you have a cool Market yeah so there

You go really like this and hope it doesn’t break and thank you for watching hope to see you guys in the next video